A “very interested” third party intervenes in a divorce settlement

Conclusion There is no universal formula for dealing with the painful products of a bitter divorce. Mixed motives, distorted perceptions, and irreconcilable differences are all interwoven into an intricate web of confused and conflicting emotions. The web eventually becomes so complex that often tangible issues cannot be pulled apart from intangible ones. Mediation in such situations cannot be seen as a panacea. The individual propensities and dissimilarities that originally lead spouses to separate may obstruct future interaction as well. A third party in such situations may, however, serve a catalytic role in fostering movement toward agreement by identifying the issues, increasing the understanding of the problem, reducing the risk of loss of face, and facilitating the efficient use of communication channels. One goal is to bring conflicting parties to think clearly about their own feelings, expectations, and desires as well as those of their opponent. Striving to achieve superordinate goals and recognizing that common interests often exist beneath the turbulent surface of positional arguments will ultimately move parties closer toward agreement. Resolving the conflict depends not only on the effectiveness of the third party, but on the willingness of the disputants to commit themselves to an exhaustive search for a solution. Lisa J. Hirsch is a senior at Tufts University in Medford, Mass. 02155. She expects to receive her bachelor's degree, with a concentration in psychology, this spring. She plans to continue her studies toward a doctorate in psychology and eventually to specialize in counseling for children of divorced parents.